The Trauma Toolbox

Without getting too geek science on you, smells in general have a direct link to the limbic brain which houses memory, emotions, love, fear..all the things that can encapsulate us at times on extremes. I have found for myself, essential oils, artisan soaps, and infused candles have given me great positive experiences. They range from happiness to anxiety relief of calm, clarity and focus, balance and meditation and above all reconnected me to good feelings. Various smells affect people differently. I am a personal fan of Frankinsence and it's my go to oil when I am on social anxiety situations. Seek out what smell works best for you to calm and bring a smile to your face. 

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If you want to speak more in depth about aromatherapy, send me an email and I will gladly consult with you about it. 

I used to hear that phrase so much in my life, "Just Breathe". But so many times I would combat the thought with an answer of "how can I breathe when I feel like I am choking". That is how anxiety, C-PTSD and panic would make me feel at times, like I was choking. It took me a very long time, over 20 years, to learn that "just breathe" meant it exactly that, very literal and very simple. INHALE and EXHALE. 

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In order to help slow down the racing thoughts, slow down the over thinking brain, slow down the fear and panic, slow down the anxious moments...if you close your eyes, sit or stand in a still place and just deeply breathe in thru your nose and exhale deeply from your mouth for about 10 minutes.....it all starts to slow down. 

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I can teach you breathing techniques in sessions, if you book an appointment, just ask me about it and I will be more than happy to share how. 

"I can't meditate. My brain don't stop. "

Do you know how many times I would say that? Do you know how many people say it too? It's so common and most have this idea of meditating like a monk sittiing on a rock in the Himalayans fasting for a month. That is a way to meditate of course, but it's not the ONLY way. 

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What I found for myself, just being still and quiet, regardless of my mind moving, I could still accomplish meditating. To meditate by definition is thinking deeply and focusing ones mind for a period of time. If you can sit or lay still, close your eyes, practice breathing, you can meditate. If your mind is natural to move and spin, that is okay. With time you can aide it to reprocess and rewire and teach it how to focus and slow down. 

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I can offer you some meditation tips, just send me a message and I will glady share with you some things that have worked for me. 

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When in a moment of panic or feeling overwhelmed and anxious, try this tool. Look around you, identify and say out loud:

• 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can touch

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste

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I use this quite often and I even trained my partner in life about it so he can help me on days I need the assistance. Its a great tool for your tool box!

This particular subject was probably the most difficult tool for me to learn how to implement and apply for myself. But it is one that is truly important. There is no absolute in this life, at least none that I have found yet. There is also no eraser when bad things happen. They remain forever in the mind, but we can learn how to process them and file them away. 

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The past is the past. It happened. Whatever it is that happened, it happened. We cannot go back and have a do over, we cannot go back and change it, we cannot go back and make it better, we cannot go back, period. 

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We can tho, forgive ourselves and others, and we can love ourselves stronger. Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not. Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn’t obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability. Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. Forgiveness empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life.

Seeking help can be very daunting. I understand that feeling. I began therapy when I was a child and continued therapy on and off through out my life. It was very difficult to find someone I connected with, trusted, and most of all someone who truly cared about what I was dealing with and who would assist me with tools that I could apply into my every day life. 

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It is okay to not be okay, and it's okay to be nervous and fearful when starting with therapy. When you are seeking a therapist, take the time to read about them, read their reviews, speak with them in a consultation and pay attention to your personal gut feeling on how you feel when you are with them. Do not discount your inward thoughts. But also, do not use them as a crutch to not work with anyone. Be open and honest not just with the therapist but also yourself. 

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If you are having financial difficulties, try utilizing the Open Path Network: www.openpathcollective.org